DurationYour article, "Engineering love" (12 May, p 28), is predicated on the basis that the family - presumably two adults in a long-term monogamous relationship - is the best place to bring up children. It is ironic that the researchers used prairie voles to research increasing relationship length.
Perhaps this is partly because none of our more immediate relatives, the great apes, form permanent monogamous relationships. Monogamy is not the norm in most monkey species either - in fact, it is quite uncommon in mammals.
The authors' own research indicates the average human relationship lasts 11 years. It should be remembered that this is with the huge societal pressure, from the media and politicians to parents and friends, to marry and live in a nuclear family.
We should look to change such societal attitudes before looking at altering our biochemistry for the sake of a societal ideal.
(Reddit thread about marriage)(started with a joke)Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his hot rods for an upcoming show.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and you probably should just consider selling all your cars.
Tom gets this horrified look on his face. She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!”, she screams, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!!!!!"
Tom's reply: "I wasn't".
On an Anniversary trip to the Caribbean, I started introducing my wife to people as my "first" wife.
Yeah, I can't see how that could possibly backfire on you.
My good buddy got invited to a wedding of this guy we've both known forever. He couldn't make it, so he wrote, "Sorry man, I'll make it to the next one." The funny thing was that this dude has been married before and has 4 kids with 4 women. He thought it was funny. His new wife did not.
I can tell you right now that if I started introducing my GF as my wife she'd be a little weirded out
What about if you introduced her as your 'first wife'
She would laugh, but then bring it up seriously during your next fight
bold move, introducing your wife to your GF.
Yes! I would just laugh and do it back. I'm B, and this is my future exhusband.
"My wife and I have been together for 23 years ... and we've been madly in love for at least 12 of those years..."
We've been together 23 years. But my wife says it feels like its only been 23 minutes... underwater.
"I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days and the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days and the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in then evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it."
My wife and I have been married for 17 years, I've been faithful for 3.
Hope you're not on the Ashley Madison list!
He is the Ashley Madison list
He is better off there, chances are the only lady he talked to was mark from sales
I used to have sex with this woman. I still do, but I used to too.
I know someone who always refers to his wife as "the current Mrs ......."
When irritated with her I used to say to my spouse, "Now that sounds a lot like what a first wife would say."
Before marriage, I introduced my fiancée as 'the future mother of my fatherless children'
My wife is from another country so we had a civil ceremony in Chicago, a family wedding in her country and then a family wedding in Illinois. When people complain to me about their former spouses, I always say, "I know, I know, I've been married three times."
Out of the blue, my girlfriend asks me to list who I would marry, kill, date, and have sex with. The choices were her, my ex, my best female friend who I confessed to having feeling for in the past, and her best friend.
I figure the safest option is marry my girlfriend, kill my ex, date my best friend, and have sex with her best friend. She breaks down crying that I didn't choose to have sex with her in this imaginary scenario even though I said I'd marry her which seems to imply sex to me but that wasn't enough. I'm still with her after 2 years but this stuff is getting old quick.
Let me let you in on a secret; you don't have to answer every question your significant other asks you.
It took me a long time to figure that out. The light bulb finally went off when my wife asked me which of her friends I would sleep with if she wasn't in the picture. I played stupid (not a stretch) like I couldn't even conceptualize what she was asking. I just asked a string of stupid questions until the subject changed: What friends? Who? What do you mean? Are you leaving me? What are you talking about? What? Why? Are those new shoes ?
They were new shoes.
As a single woman who has no particular desire for dating or marriage (if I meet someone and it happens, great, but I can’t see making it a goal for myself when much of it is out of my control), I was really interested by the reader who said that one advantage of marriage is that “when disaster strikes, and you are alone, it really is a disaster.”
This is true; being alone does make it harder to deal with the storms of life. But why is marriage, a specific romantic relationship between two people, the only way to deal with this?
I have a single friend who I live next door to, and we share Internet and make meals together. When I had surgery she helped me out, and when she was having problems I helped her. People often assumed we were a lesbian couple, but we are “just” best friends. And this automatically lessened our relationship in the eyes of other people, but I was never sure why.
Life is easier with people to share it with, but why does that person need to be a romantic partner?
Ask your SO if an open marriage is right for you ... go on and ask
(Every so often Fark delivers a pure gold thread)
You first, subby
She didn't let me finish the question before yelling "YES!" and sending out a group text so large the lights dimmed when she pressed "Send"
Might as well tell her she looks fat in that dress too while you are at it.
If your SO wants to be in an open relationship, congratulations, you're the backup plan.
If she says yes, then it was already an open marriage, you just didn't know it.
I asked, she said yes, it's been a very enjoyable three years since
As someone that's been in an open relationship/marriage for over 20 years I can say that it can work fine, but it is very relationship dependent. We've run into couples where the guy thought it'd be cool cuz he could get all the tail he wanted but then would get insanely jealous if his wife would partake, to wives getting emotionally attached beyond close friendship. To us, it's a lot like having friends with benefits but you definitely have to 'choose wisely'
It can only work if the marriage is strong and the spouses are sure of themselves and their relationship to one another. Most of the time, however, this is brought up because one or both are unhappy or unsatisfied with the marriage and the couple deludes themselves into thinking that opening the marriage will magically fix it. For many people this is their ticket out of the marriage, but they don't want to admit it.
I asked your SO. She's good with it.
It's been standard fare for the gay community since forever.
I asked my SO, she said she didn't think it was a good idea and we should see a therapist instead. Thus I've been "seeing a therapist" for 3 years now, if you know what I mean. And I'm pretty damn happy with the arrangement.
Unfortunately, gold diggers, head cases and Petri dishes are the triumvirate of doom for most poly relationships.
Women who go to bed with married guys fall into one of two categories. The first is looking for some "no strings attached" fun. There's a good number of them, but they are far outnumbered by group 2: They think the guy is sexy (or some other adjective) and want to steal him from his unworthy wife. I cannot reiterate, that for women this part of the open relationship is easier. The guys, in general, really are just looking for some consequence free sex. The women, while I've never had a "bunny bo ... There's a third category, and the women who fall into it are women it would shock you to learn were involved with a married guy. They're lonely and settle for being the other woman because they can't find anyone else, but wouldn't want to be with a guy who'd leave his wife for someone else.